It's so funny the number of times that i have picked up the phone to call J only to get a text from her arrive just as the call is going through. Despite being up in Nantucket we are so connected it's as if she's a part of me.
I'm really hoping that will hold true tomorrow as she goes ahead with the first insem without me there. I missed the first insem last cycle because of work, but was there for the blood work, ultrasound and second insem. My fingers and toes are crossed that this cycle will work, but it will be weird to know that i wasn't there when our child was conceived.
So the agonizing two week wait will begin. Maybe it's better for her that I'm here and not there...constantly watching, looking for any sign that she may be pregnant. Trying to walk that line between being hopeful and optimistic, yet at the same time trying to prepare for another disappointment.
I know that it will happen, it just isn't in our control as the when that will be!
coming back like a wrecking ball
2 months ago