I can't believe that it's only Wednesday. This week has been so emotionally draining that I feel like it should be Friday. I'm so ready for the weekend.
We started the week with a terrifying scare with the pregnancy. A sad reminder that this experience is totally out of our control. A text to our wonderful nurse gave us some reassurance and an earlier than scheduled trip to the RE saw a great beta number. Our little embies are hanging in there! I'm trying to remember to keep breathing and take it one day at a time or one RE visit at a time.
The stress and a case of PMS led to not enough patience with our already confused little man last night. I ended up sending him to bed with no stories for the first time ever. His bed time avoidance strategies are legendary and that is always the time of day when I have the least patience. After repeated requests to work with me at getting ready for bed he just wasn't willing to play ball, so he lost stories. But did win the battle of going to bed diaper free (a subject for another post) as I didn't have the energy to fight with him about it. Of course that meant changing his bed this morning....He went to sleep fine and I was left with my mom guilt for company!
Poor N, he knows that something is going on, but can't figure it out. He is missing his mommy so much and although she's been around more as it's her spring break, she's concentrating on taking it easy and resting. J is usually the rough and tumble, fun parent and all that stuff is strictly off limits so he's having to adjust to that. We just about broke his heart yesterday when we met up to trade cars and he didn't get to go home with mommy, but came to work with me instead. He cried for a good 10 mins and talked about wanting to go home to mommy for a lot longer :-( I felt so bad for him and at times like that I also have to fight that age old trigger that tells me that I'm not good enough.
On our drive home from work today N told me that he's growing two babies in his tummy. A boy baby and a girl baby. We are very careful not to talk about the pregnancy in front of him so are not sure where he got this from. Maybe he has inside information!!
4 months ago