Thursday, May 30, 2013

WTF universe?

I can't believe that I am writing another one if these posts...

We found out yesterday that we lost our longed for baby. J had a feeling at the start of the week that something was off and called in a favor from a dr friend of hers. Sadly the news wasn't good. This has not been an easy pregnancy. (I've drafted previous posts and always felt hesitant to post them). Both embryos implanted and we lost one baby early on, but were so hopeful that the other would continue to grow after hearing a strong hb at 8 wks. We were discharged from the RE, had our first OB visit and finally told J's parents and N. The constant exhaustion that J felt was tough to see, and the countless shots and endless amounts of stuff that she/we pumped into her body was more than I could probably endure. She handled it all like a trooper, never complaining and reminding herself that it would all be worth it in the end....

I took N with me shopping for a baby shower gift for a friend yesterday and while at the store he pointed out several things he wanted to get for the baby. I came so close to letting him get something...... 

I'm at a loss for sad, hurt and very angry. It sucks to be here again. 


  1. I just do not know what to say. I know there are no words that will make it easier and so I offer up all the strength and comfort that the powers that be can bring your way. I am thinking of you all. Hugs to you, J, and N.

  2. I am so sad to read this and my heart goes out to all of you. It sounds like J has been amazingly strong through it all. Sending healing thoughts your way.