Breech

I had my ultrasound with the MFM last Thursday and found out that both babies are now breech. I wasn't surprised as a few days before I felt that baby a had turned. I had a rough night, with lots of pain on the right side of my belly and wasn't feeling any kicks at the top of my belly anymore. Now I have to hope that they (or at least a) will both turn soon. 

When J was expecting N she tried so many different things to get him to turn after we found out he was breech. She tried acupuncture, supplements, lying upside down, time on her hands and knees. She even went to attempt a version but the cord was around his neck so that was the end of that. I'm kind of feeling like it's another if those things that I can't control and it will work out the way that it is supposed to. Even if that means a c-section. 

Despite being told constantly that I'm too small to be having twins (even by an OB the other week) all looks good with the babies. Baby A (our daughter) weighs in at an estimated 2lbs 3oz and her brother, baby B is 2lbs 7oz. It seems like his cord issues aren't stopping him from gaining weight at this point, even tho I know it may slow down as time goes on. 

It's crazy to think that they could be here in around 10 weeks!!! I feel like we were so much more organized at this stage during J's pregnancy. We have to switch rooms around so they can have the bigger room and we haven't even started on that yet. J was home on Saturday  trying to work on it while I had N at work with me. I just made a pile of stuff in the basement that we will need and picked up some things from a friend. We are still one car seat short, which I hope we will get soon and haven't picked up our second crib yet. 

I have been having issues with getting light headed or dizzy which usually ends up with me throwing up. After talking it through with my mw and getting my BP checked she thinks I'm working too much. She has told me that I need to cut back on the amount I'm working, make sure I hydrate enough, get 70g of protein and a nap every day. I haven't seen much of my boss so far this week, but will talk to her soon about cutting my days from 6 to maybe 3 or 4. I think my working days are coming to an end!

Pregnancy brain!

I've had a major case of pregnancy brain. Last week  I took the big boy to soccer and left the van door open for the whole hour and fifteen minutes we were there! Luckily it's a pretty safe community so it wasn't that big a deal and I was fully prepared to blame it on one of the kids ;-) 

Yesterday I lost 2 of the 3 dogs at work. I let them out, checked on them after 10 mins and they had disappeared, which often happens. So I decided to wait longer to see of they showed up ( like they usually do). Well I forgot about them and didn't go and look for them for an hr. 

I often ask the kids questions and forget the answers right after they tell them to me! I'm finding that I have to write myself notes to remind me of things which I'm so not used too. 

I'm staying at work this weekend and have managed to keep track of the dogs and kids so far.  I'm definitely looking forward to getting to sleep in my own bed tonight. The woman I work with was telling me to take lots of pics of the bump, which I haven't been doing. So here's one I just took at 26 wks! We have to find time to work on the nursery. I thought we would get to it over the summer, but it didn't happen. Guess that's what happens when you have your second (and third)! All we really need to do is get another infant car seat, diapers and wash N's newborn stuff, which we probably have enough of for both babies. Our neighbor has also given us a bunch of her daughter's hand downs so our baby girl won't be totally dressed in blue! 

Work

I ended up working a whole lot more this summer than I had expected. The family usually leaves at the end of June and doesn't come back until September. Not sure exactly what kept them here this year, but they were only gone for 4 or 5 weeks in the end. It was great for my bank balance and meant N had his best buddy to play with. Having to get up and out probably helped with my morning sickness too. I couldn't hang around felling sorry for myself. I had to find ways to stay on top of it or failing that throw up and keep going. 

Since getting back to work at the end of August my boss finally asked what my plan is and when I think I'll be done with work. I had originally hoped to stay until Thanks Giving but at a recent mw appt she told me to stop work at 30 wks. That works out to be Halloween, which is just around the corner!! I have to admit that I'm surprised by my mixed feelings about giving up work. I've been here 7.5 yrs and am quite attached to the kids and although I know I will be busy at home I think I'm going to miss going to work and contributing to our household income. 

The big boy is obsessed with my belly he is always asking if the babies are moving or kicking. If we are sat together he has his hands or head on my bump. He's asked a bunch of times if he can come to the hospital after the babies are born. I don't think his proxy sibling status will get him in tho! Hopefully whoever takes over from me will bring him over to see them. 

Just the other day he said to me 'you won't ever leave me, right?' Talk about tugging at the heart strings! I've mentioned to both him and N that we will be staying home after the babies come and it didn't go down well with either boy. N cried and it just made the big boy extra clingy! 

My boss has contacted an agency to help her look for someone else. Instead of having 2 of us like she does now, she is looking for one person who can be both her PA and take care of the kids too. I think it will be a lot for one person and they will still need help - thanks to their crazy schedule. But I hope they find someone by the end of Oct so we can start the transition. 

For some crazy reason I've been working 5, 6 or 7 days a week. Without really talking to me my boss decided to give me all the hours I want before I leave. Luckily I'm feeling pretty good so it's working out fine for now, but I know J is worried about me over doing it. I figure I'll make the most of it while I can and reassess it if it gets to be too much. The only down side is that we don't have time to see any friends. Most of his friends are in morning preschool and now he's in the afternoon we can't squeeze any play dates in. Most mornings N sleeps til 9 and we potter around at home until its time for school. He teacher said yesterday that he seems a lot happier and has more energy this year. I'm sure it's the extra sleep!! 

23 wks

I'm 23 wks  and feeling so much better than I was. For the most part my severe morning sickness let up around 18 wks. I'm still getting sick some mornings and sometimes later in the day if I do too much and get too tired. But it's a big improvement. I'm still taking my meds after a recent attempt to come off of them was a disaster, so will keep going for now. 

My belly finally popped about 3 wks ago and I actually look pregnant and not just chubby! It probably coincided with being able to eat more. At 20 wks I made it back to my pre-pregnancy weight and have pretty much moved into wearing maternity clothes now. 

Once I started to feel better I realized that the prenatal care I was getting isn't working for me. I went to an appt where the dr hadn't read my notes and didn't even know I was having 2 babies. She measured my belly and proceeded to freak me out by commenting that I was having a 'little peanut.' When I asked her if something was wrong, being that I was already worried about my weight loss, she pretty much brushed me aside. She was far more concerned with time management and sending me off for yet more blood work, than with me personaly. The thought of getting her for delivery was pretty scary. 

Then when I went for my 20wk scan the tech didn't know I was having twins either. That bothered me less as we had already decided to switch and I wasn't surprised by that point. J was practically out of her chair ready for a fight - it's not the first time we've had issues with this tech either. 

I called up the wonderful midwife J used when we were expecting N and asked if she would take me on. She was happy to hear from me and said she would, but because I'm technically considered 'high risk,' I'd have to use a dr too. She recommended the dr that she works with and said that they would manage my care between them. 

We met with the dr the mw recommended and while I can't say I'm crazy about him, he at least knew that I was having twins! I've come to the conclusion that I don't like drs or hospitals so getting these babies out is going to be a challenge. J is going to have to drag me to the hospital when the time comes! It sounds like the delivery will be a circus, so far from the calm, quiet delivery I'd hoped for. I have to deliver in the OR and the dr says I have to have an epidural in case he needs to 'help' baby b out. So along with J, me and our midwife there will be the dr, nurses and a NICU team for both babies. I'm hoping that having the mw there will ensure that the babies aren't whisked away before we get to really see them. She'll also help with skin to skin time and nursing. 

Changing drs had also meant switching hospitals. Instead of being 20 mins from home we will be 45 mins away. It's definitely a better hospital and has a better NICU if we should need it, but it does put us further away from N. The babies birth will be the first time we have both been away from him overnight and I'm nervous about it.  We haven't got our plan for him totally sorted out yet. We have lots of possibilities and are still trying to figure out what will be best for him. Depending on how I deliver J may only stay with me for one night and be home with him the others. I'm still hoping to avoid a c-section and a long hospital stay. 

Anyway, the ultrasound I had at 20 wks turned up some concerning news that had me on edge for the the last couple of weeks. The scan showed that baby b has a 2 vessel cord, instead of the usual 3. I was referred to a mfm for fetal ekg's. Despite being told that all looked good and it happens in 1% of pregnancies I was still freaked out by it. 

We went on Friday for the longest ultrasound ever. It took 1hr 45 mins and was definitely detailed. We even got to see the babies in 3d which was cool and weird all at the same time! Both babies were declared to be healthy and weighing in at around 1.5lbs. Exactly what a singleton would be at this point in pregnancy. This is what baby a thought about all the poking, prodding and scanning..... 

I'm feeling so much relief now that I know they are both ok. The tech we had was amazing. She explained everything she was doing and took the time to show us all the ins and outs of each babies' heart. Now I'm scheduled for regular scans to check on the babies growth and have appts booked all the way to Boxing Day. It seems hard to believe that I'll still be pregnant then, but who knows!! It all depends on the babies I guess!!! 

Now that I'm feeling better and N is back in school I hope to get back to blogging more often! 

Summer

I finished work last Thursday and as usaual I'm not sure how long I'm off for. It could be a couple of weeks, the summer or even forever. My boss isn't so good when it comes to communication, she's more of a fly by the seat of her pants kind of girl and just assumes that the rest of us are too. I guess it helps that she never has to worry about who's going to take care of her kids as she can always find someone between her 2 nannies, 1 housekeeper and a couple of teens thrown into the mix!

N is already missing his buddy and asks every day if we are going to work. Although I'm not sure if its the kids or their amazing pool that he misses the most....!

We don't have N signed up for any camps or activities this summer, which I originally thought was a great plan but am now beginning to question. I had thought I'd be feeling better by now and that he and I would be able to do lots of fun things and enjoy this time as just the 2 of us.  Even before we were done with work his bed time started creeping back and is now at 9 or 9.30 and it's taking him ages to fall asleep. Last night it was 11 before he gave up and went to sleep. On the flip side I'm loving the easy start to the morning, he's usually up at 9.30 which gives me lots of time to get myself up and together before I have to face making him breakfast! I know that if he was in camp we would have to be up and out by 8.30 and that would change our mornings considerably. It may be something we revisit after our vacation.

Right before we finished up at work I took the boys to Wild West City. It's exactly as the name suggests and probably no different than when J went there as a kid. Lots of gun toting, horse riding cowboys. Both the boys loved it, especially all the live shows that happen throughout the day. They even became sheriff deputies and helped capture the bad guys that held up the stage coach. N also tried mini golf (which did not hold his attention), went panning for gold and visited the petting zoo.

For the 4th of July we went with a large group of friends to a local parade. I think N's favorite part was seeing our neighbour in the parade, he could hardly believe it was him and kept saying 'that was my neighbor?' We lasted about an hour at the parade before it started to rain, we hung out for a while but eventually the rain got heavier and we deiced to head for the car. We made a quick stop for lunch on the way home and then N and I both took naps.

After that the weekend headed down hill for me. I came really close to going back into hospital for iv fluids. I knew that I wasn't as dehydrated as I was the last time I went in, but by the time I talked to my OB Saturday night I was starting to get worried. None of my usual tricks were working and I wasn't holding anything down, all I wanted to do was lie very still with my eyes closed. We decided that if I hand't improved by Sunday morning I would go in. But thankfully by the time I work up I was doing better, just feeling really weak. The hardest part (other than all the throwing up and pulling muscles in my stomach) is that I feel like I'm missing out on so much. J and N spent time with friends and family over the weekend and I just wasn't up to going. It's not that I want them to stay home, I'm happy for them to go and always encourage it, even though I know J feels bad about leaving me. I just wish I could go too!

This is the point where I get totally sappy and tell you what an amazing wife I have. She's been doing such a great job of holding down the fort while still working full time. If any of you work in education you know how crazy the last few weeks are. I haven't cooked, cleaned or shopped for weeks and most nights I'm in bed by 8.30 leaving her to put N to bed. I definitely couldn't survive without her and know that I'm so lucky to have her! 

Last night she said to me that she still doesn't really believe that we are having twins and I have to say that I'm right there with her. If it weren't for all the throwing up I wouldn't know that I was pregnant at all. I have a tiny belly but as a friend pointed out it just looks fat, not pregnant and I'm still 10lbs under my pre pregnancy weight. We did get a double stroller that is up in the guest room, which will eventually get turned into the babies' room, at some point! I also scored a good deal on a couple of second hand swings which I'm sure we will be using a lot!

We waited so long and went through so much to get to this point and I think we are both still nervous about relaxing and starting to believe that this is actually going to happen. Only family and friends know about the pregnancy and we were just talking about when (and how) we will be ready for a fb reveal. For me I think it will probably be once I can feel the babies and maybe after our 20wk ultrasound, even though all looked good at the 12 wk one. 

Update

I've been such a slacker with the blog recently. I missed N's birthday (we have a 4 year old!), Mother's Day,  J's birthday and lots of other things in between.

I have to admit that pregnancy is totally kicking my butt. I used to hear about other people's morning sickness and exhaustion and think that I'd happily take it just to be pregnant. Even when my own sister was suffering with severe morning sickness I thought I would handle it so much better than her. Man was I stupid!! 

I have been suffering from pretty bad morning sickness since about 5 weeks. I was sick from the moment I got up, all day and until recently during the night too. Last week I ended up in the ER because I couldn't keep anything down and got dehydrated. For the first time in his life, we dumped poor N at our neighbors house until his grandparents could get him so that J could be with me at the hospital. The weather is beautiful here and I've been sweltering in long sleeve tops to hide my bruises from the iv. 

Anyway, I'm on 2 different medications now and the combination seems to be helping. I usually get a break during the day when I can actually eat something and hope to start gaining back the 12lbs that I've lost and then some! 

I was officially discharged from the RE the same day I ended up in the ER. It's kind of bittersweet, while its great to 'graduate' I will miss the weekly ultrasounds and checking in on the munchkins. Yep, you read that right we are having twins!! 

I won't miss getting up at 4.30 to get there on time though! Luckily after working with our nurse for 5 years now she's become a good friend and I know we can still ask her any random questions that come up. 

I also had my first OB appointment. We got to hear a heartbeat on the Doppler but at this point she said its hard to find both. Or tell the difference between the 2 of them. I scheduled my first trimester screening and look forward to seeing them on the scan. 

I was glad to hear that I have a 50% chance of a vaginal delivery. As long as the first baby is head down they will let me labour and see what happens with the second baby. Although I think it would be rough to deliver the first and still end up with a c-section for the second. One thing I've learnt is that none of this is in my control and it will work out however it's meant too. 

N now knows that I'm pregnant, but we haven't told him that it's twins yet. He seems pretty excited and asks every day to hug the baby. He frequently refers to it as a her so maybe he knows something that I don't!! 

Happy birthday...

....to me!!!

I'm 5 wks today and the shock is starting to sink in. I'm feeling very grateful that I got a BFP and hoping and wishing that this pregnancy will give us a baby (or babies) around Christmas time!