Doubling up.

J and I have had plenty of time to talk about TTC while we've been on vacation and we've come up with a plan....
She's going to head back to the RE's for another round of IVF. This time the RE has recommended that we do 2 retrievals and carry out genetic testing on the embryos. We declined the testing before as it seemed to be messing with nature a little more than we were comfortable with, which is kind of ironic really when you think about it. But having been through the heartbreak of 2 losses we would like to avoid putting ourselves through that again. I know that there are no guarantees but starting out with healthy embryos would increase our chances of a good outcome. They are sure that we lost the pregnancies because of chromosomal abnormalities, which we are sure with the first loss. The second one we will never know for sure, but we feel like it coincided with stopping the PIO shots J was on. We were even asked if we wanted to know the gender of the embryos before transfer, which we declined. We want a healthy baby, boy or girl doesn't matter to us and we would want the strongest looking embryos transferred and not to make choices based on gender.
While J is gearing up for IVF we have decided to start trying with me. I'm really not a big fan of all things medical and am in awe of all the stuff that J has put herself through in our quest for another baby. Think it could be the Brit in me, or just my family. I will only go to the Dr if I'm are really sick or something is about to drop off. It once took me 3 days to see the Dr after I broke by wrist, (I was so sure it wasn't broken, just sprained). So we are taking a slightly different route with me. I just had my yearly with the midwives that we used while J was carrying N. J asked if they did inseminations and our favourite MW replied 'we don't currently, but we could!' She recommended that I start temping and keep a record for 3 months, then we'll look over the charts and go from there.
So I bought a BBT thermometer and started taking my temp in the am. I have to admit that it's already getting old. Especially as I have to do it at the same time every day. I picked 6.15 as that is when I usually get up at home, but here on vacation that sucks!!! I wake up, take my temp and often can't get back to sleep. Then right as everyone else is ready to start the day closer to 9, I'm ready for a nap!
My cycles are pretty regular and I usually feel when I ovulate. So hopefully the temping along with the ovulation monitor we have will help us get the timing right.
We've been joking that we'll both end up pregnant and she'll probably have twins as the RE wants to transfer 2 embryos. But in reality we won't both try the same month. Her retrievals will likely be in August and Sept with a transfer in Oct or Nov. So I wouldn't try on the month she transfers or if I'm pregnant by then she won't transfer and we'll keep the embryos for baby number 3 down the road.

Vacation

We've headed to the beach for a little R&R and lots of family time :-)

When we hit the beach for a while after dinner N picked up a couple of young admirers that he ran around with and it wasn't long before they were trying to figure out the family dynamics! First they wanted to know if either J or I were N's grandmothers! Apparently they start having kids really young in Brazil! 

Then a little while later one of the girls was asking if I was N's aunt. When I told her I wasn't, she asked if J was. I told her that J was his mom too and she said 'cool, he has 2 moms!...How does that work?' She then asked if he had 2 moms and a dad and was even more puzzled when I said he doesn't have a dad just 2 moms. After asking which one of us carried him, she got back to playing. When her sister was trying to figure it out later, she relayed the information to her and then when her sister asked how N was made her sister answered 'you don't want to know!' It made us giggle and gave us an insight into what's to come!

Carnival and fireworks

N has been asking to see fireworks for a while now, so we decided to take him to the local carnival and watch them. Little did we know that they weren't going to start until 11pm! We thought that they would be at 10 and figured that he would last that long, thanks to a late nap. But we were not so sure when were heard that they wouldn't start until later than that. 

We didn't get to the carnival until 8 figuring that we would kill some time riding the rides and getting something to eat. The local fire company was giving rides, so we paid up and J and N had a 5 minute ride on top of the fire truck. N loved it and in true N style had a 'discussion' with J about not wanting her to hold onto him and wanting to do it himself! 

Then we hit the rides - all 3 of them that we could get him on. For most of the rides the kids have to be 36 inches to ride and N is not there yet. He is a 3, nearly 4 year old in a 2 year olds body. He loves the rides and would have loved to go on more than he was allowed too. The crazy thing was that he wasn't even tall enough to ride the carousel, probably the most tame ride that there is. But he did get on a car ride, a flying elephant thing and a spinning strawberry one. The rides are pretty small, so adults were not allowed on them too, which is how we've gotten him on other rides before. Guess we should have found some shoes that would add an extra inch or 2 to his height! 

Riding the rides took up some time, but didn't get us that close to firework time. J and I talked about giving up for the night and heading home, but N kept insisting that he wanted to see the fireworks and asking when they were coming. As he seemed to be holding up pretty well we decided to see how long he'd hold out. We made it to 11 and are so glad that we stayed. He absolutely loved the fireworks. He wasn't scared at all, which we both thought he might be. While he was watching the fireworks he threw his head back and laughed with delight. It was the most amazing thing to see and made us enjoy it all the more.
I remember being so scared of fireworks when I was a child. I often spent bonfire night at my grandparents house, cowering on the sofa, avoiding the whole thing! I don't think I really got over it until I was much older and never really found any enjoyment in them. But watching them through my sons eyes made it so magical!

We left the carnival at 11.30, after wrangling a very excited little boy into a diaper, hoping he'd nod off on the way home. But he had other ideas. It's only a 15 minute ride home and he was still wide awake when we pulled into our driveway. We got him into his PJs and went through a condensed bedtime routine that had him in bed by 12.30. He slept until 10.15 this morning so that wasn't too bad!

July 4th

We had no plans for celebrating the 4th but as we were meandering around the store our friends invited us to go to an indoor play area with them. Although we didn't end up going with them for that we invited them over after naps to swim and grill with us.

They have a little girl who is a couple of months older than N and is one of the few kids that he sticks up for himself with. With most other kids if they take a toy from him, he'll just let it go. But with her he holds onto his stuff and tells her 'no!' It probably helps that they've been playing together since they were 4 and 6 months old.

We ended the night by roasting marshmallows over our new fire pit. N was so well behaved around the fire, we were so proud of how well he listened to the rules and stuck to them. He's not a fan of marshmallows, but loved the act of toasting them. We told him that he had to stay in his seat if he was by the fire and that's exactly what he did. He sat there for a good 30-40 minutes before deciding that he wanted to play in his little house. So he played in there even though it was getting pretty dark at that point, while J and I got to hang by the fire :-)

Summer

After a crazy couple of weeks working full time, N and I have finished up for the summer!
My parents were also in the States for 6 weeks, spending 4 weeks here, so we have spent the last week trying to catch up some sleep - for N that is! He is so not a morning person and did not appreciate being dragged out of bed at 7.30am every day to make it to work by 8. But I have to say he was a total star. The kids were enrolled in a golf and tennis camp 30 mins from their house and we had to hang out there for 1hr and 45 mins waiting for the big boy. He did so well with all the waiting around and all the time in the car even though the activities were not for him. Such a 3rd child!! Some of the days were so hot with the temps getting up to the mid 90's. Luckily a big cup of ice kept him occupied and helped to cool him down :-)

Having my parents here was great...for me at least. Poor J, nobody wants to spend that much time with their inlaws. They haven't seen N since he was 4 months old, so they really wanted to spend time getting to know him and offered to do lots of our odd jobs around the house and yard. My dad even put together the cutest little playhouse, that J's parents and brother got N for his birthday. N loves it so much and plays in it every day. It has a pretend kitchen and stove so is the perfect spot for him to do some cooking.

Although they spent a lot of their time working around the house and yard, we also made some time for  fun. We spent time at a local state park that has a little beach and swimming area. N had a blast splashing around, practicing his swimming skills and playing in the sand. We also went to the zoo. Here is a pic of N with his Abeulo and Abuela.

I was sad and a little relieved when they finally headed to England to see my sibs and niece. This is definitely the best visit I've ever had with them. I think having a child of your own makes you look at your own parents and the way you were parented in a different light. I've frequently struggled with my relationship with them and the way I was raised, but was happy seeing them with N. They were so different with him - patient, attentive and present. All things that I feel they weren't with me. N loved being with them and was especially taken with my mum. The best thing about the visit is that he now interacts more with them when I skype them. Now he actually knows who the strangers on the screen are!