BFP!

I asked N this morning if he wants to be a big brother and he said 'NO!' Luckily he has 9 months to get used to the idea :-)

In the back of both of our minds is the fact that our angel baby would have been arriving this week, so although we are both beyond delighted I don't think we'll stop holding our breath until the first ultrasound when we see a heartbeat.

J goes back on Friday for her second beta, but our nurse said the first one looked good.

Transfer

Monday (my mum's birthday) was transfer day and the day started with a very long wait for the call from the recovery room nurse about the time we would have to go in and the status of the embryo. We tried to keep busy and of course the call came at 11, just after I had put N down for a nap. We had to be there at 1, it's 45 mins away and I had to figure out dropping N off with a friend first.

N has only ever been cared for by J's parents or my sister. Although we talk about needing to find a regular sitter we haven't done it, but a good friend offered to watch him for us so I nervously headed over there to drop him off. Having to wake him up after only 45 mins made me feel even more nervous and had J so worked up that we decided she wouldn't go for the drop off part and I'd take him and either meet her at the RE's or not if he wasn't ok with being left. Luckily he was a star. He slept a little more on the car ride and woke up when we got there. He was clingy and wanted to make sure I was with him. So we hung out until he started to feel better and started playing. Then I gave him a kiss and headed out. He didn't cry and only asked for me once. Our friend sent us some texts letting us know he was ok. So that helped us both feel better and concentrate on baby making.

Once we got the RE's we still didn't know anything about the embryo. They have changed procedures and defrost the embryo as close the transfer time as they can, cutting down the time it is hanging around. So we were sitting in the office still not 100% sure that there would be a transfer. We headed back to the recovery room and got ready. I put my scrubs on and felt strangely as nervous as I did when we were getting ready for N's c-section! The nurse told us that there was something to transfer, although she didn't know any details and J had a course of acupuncture. The Dr came in and said that the embryo looked the same as it had before it was frozen and that we were ready to go.

We moved into the procedure room. J got comfortable and the embryologist came in and introduced herself. She told us that we would see the embryo on the screen and off she went to get to work. On the screen I could see a drop of liquid with a tiny little dot in it. Turns out the dot was Emy. We watched her suck it up in the catheter, check the catheter to make sure it was well positioned and then it was brought into the procedure room. Then the pic changed to an ultrasound of J's uterus. I'm not sure that either of us thought we'd see much after that, but to our surprise we actually saw the embryo shoot out of the catheter, aimed at just the right spot at 2.33pm. It looked kind of like a firework against the grey of the ultrasound. Then J was moved back to her bed, where she had another course of acupuncture and 25 mins of bed rest.

After the transfer J headed home to rest and I went to pick up N. Who started crying the minute I walked in the house! I had said to J that he probably would cry after holding himself together for the 3 hrs that I'd been gone and that's what he did. He was quickly distracted by showing off his new skill of peeling a clementine without help and we played for a while longer before heading for home.

Now we wait! Our test is scheduled for Wed and J has declared that there will be no cheating with testing at home before then. Let's hope testing on a leap year brings us luck!

Valentines

I started preparing for Valentine's day over a week before the big day by 'helping' N make 28 Valentines for a MOMS club party. I've been in the States for almost 12 years now but I still find the whole Valentine thing strange. Unless things have changed since I last lived in England, Valentines were only exchanged between couples, or sent by horny teenagers to the people they fancied. Here it's so commercial that you can buy Valentines for anyone, from anyone, even the family pet!

We headed to the party on Wednesday and N had a great time. As soon as we got there he wandered off to play, obviously remembering the place from the last party. That is so not like him, usually he stays close to me until he's checked everything out. We played, ate and decorated bags to collect all his Valentines in.

Sadly lots of Valentines were not the only prize N brought home from the party. He also picked up a nasty stomach bug and spent Thursday night throwing up. He or maybe I have gotten so much better at hitting the bowl while it's all coming out. I hate for him to be alone when he's sick - goes back to my own childhood I think. So I slept (or tried to) with him in our guest room, with it's newly installed bed rail for just such an occasion. The last time we shared a bed he fell out, so I was glad to have the bed rail. The next day he was sad and off his food but otherwise OK.

Over the weekend J was not feeling great, so we assumed she had some form of the bug. Just as I was patting myself on the back for escaping it, I got it on Tuesday. Yep, Valentine's Day! As our babysitters have flown south for the winter I'd planned to cook a nice family meal, which I made, but J ended up eating alone when N turned his nose up at it and I couldn't stomach it. It was a rough night and long day on Wednesday at home with N. He was so good and really patient with my desire to stay close to the couch.

Then yesterday we had plans to go to a friend's for dinner. I called her on Wednesday to say that I was recovering from the bug and did she still want us to come. She said she didn't care, so we were still on. Just as I was putting brownies in the oven J called to say she was on her way home from work. The bug got her too! I called our friend and told her we weren't coming and took N shopping instead! Poor J is still feeling rough tonight.

In other news our FET is scheduled for MONDAY! Our precious little Emy, as we nicknamed our embryo is going to be put exactly where it belongs to grow into N's little brother or sister! J started PIO shots on Wednesday, wow I don't think I've ever seen a bigger needle! And I'm the one that is giving them to her. Thanks to the wonderful Internet I read up lots on the correct positioning and lots of tips on how to make it less painful. Again I am amazed and in awe of what my wonderful wife is prepared to put herself through for our family.

After a temporary break N is back to being a potty pro. He made the choice to go back into diapers and we put the potty training on the back burner. Then he started complaining every time his diaper was wet and crying if he pooped. So I asked if he wanted to go back to undies and he said yes. So that's where we've been since last Friday and he's been dry. I think he was only back in diapers for just over a week. He just likes to do everything in his own time and way!

N's language has come on so much. He does a great job of getting across what he wants/needs. Even my parents could figure it out when we were skyping with them. But he has one sentence that is our favourite right now. He says "here go Mommy/Mama" when he's giving you something. It's so cute and much better than his other favourite "I don't want it!"

I love our little guy so much!